gun control

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7 thoughts on “gun control

  1. hunter simply killing it (no pun intended) at dailykos

    BOSTON, MA — The manhunt for the two suspects in last week’s bombing of the Boston Marathon has only just ended, but FBI and Boston law enforcement agencies are already being inundated by demands that they identify the exact weapons used by the Tsarnaev brothers during the bloody two-day battle that left one local police officer dead and wounded at least fifteen others. “It is wrong for law enforcement to keep this information to themselves,” NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre said during a speech yesterday evening. “All across this nation, Americans have been waiting to hear which weapons were used by these terrorists so that our members can go purchase those same weapons. Withholding this information serves no purpose other than make it more difficult for these patriots to know which models of guns they should next be stocking up on.”

    NRA member Timothy Campbell of Dallas, Texas, says he has called Boston and MIT police departments over a dozen times since the murder of an MIT police officer last Thursday, but neither department has been willing to release the exact brands and models of guns used. While many cite fears that guns like the ones used in acts of terrorism or mass murder will be targeted for stricter regulation or even banning by the government, Campbell, an avid gun collector, says he recognizes that the odds that access to such weapons would be restricted are “essentially zero,” he still is eager to purchase the guns as soon as the Tsarnaev weapons are identified. “I don’t really know why I want to own them so bad,” he said during an interview conducted this morning. “I guess it’s probably a penis thing.”

    …According to the gun executive, “It’s one thing to say that your rifle can quickly kill a whole room full of elementary school children. Any company can say that. But to have it demonstrated and proven true, that’s a completely different thing. That’s when gun owners know they’ve got a gun they can count on. You might never need to kill that many kids before the cops come, sure, but that guy proved you could do it if you wanted to.”

  2. hamock myson

    okay, leaving parody land and returning to reality:

    “The new twist on the kid shootings this week was, of course, that two of the kids shot and killed younger siblings with their own guns, as opposed to guns belonging to parents or guardians which they found around the house. I felt sure earlier in the week that we’d all be talking about the Mountain Home, Alaska 8-year-old who shot and killed his 5-year-old sister with the rifle he’d taken hunting the day before. But that was before—one day before—the Burkesville, Kentucky 5-year-old shot and killed his 2-year-old sister with the rifle he’d been given for his 5th birthday. The 9-year-old girl shot the very next day by her 7-year-old brother in Auburn, Washington, was, it seems, shot with a rifle belonging to third sibling.”

  3. armchair

    Your sanity is driving you crazy. It is self-fulfilling. The more logic you apply to gun possession the more crazy you get.

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