With all of the talk about the conventions and the upcoming elections the thing that really has me upset is an apple fritter. First of all, what is an apple fritter?
An apple fritter is an ugly doughnut. It lacks the uniformity you expect from a lemon filled or a sprinkled doughnut. Its shape is unpredictable. The outer surface looks a bit like a brain with its folded knobs. The dough is spiced with cinnamon and has chunks of cinnamon apple mixed in. Above all else, it is deep-fried to the point of being gently crunchy. A glaze is applied too. The fritter is over-the-top indulgence. No one will call the fritter sublime, but it has earned its place in the doughnut pantheon along with French Cruellers, maple bars, glazed, old fashioned, raspberry filled and so on.
So how could someone be upset about a doughnut? Go to Starbucks in the Seattle area and look at their apple fritters. Their apple fritters are little wads of chewy, tasteless, goop. Not only that but they cost at least double what they would at a bakery. It is upsetting to pay double for something that barely resembles the thing it is named for. The one quality it maintains is the ugliness. Gone is any of the delicate crunch and the joyous discovery of an over-fried bit of apple. Every bit of the Starbuck’s fritter makes a fritter fan angrier and angrier. This corporate juggernaut is making us forget what apple fritters should taste like. Starbuck’s is shrinking their food items, draining them of quality and presenting them at double the price.
Starbuck’s is only doing what you are suppose to do in America, which is figure out how to take good ideas and make maximum profit by squeezing every penny out of the transaction even after the fritter has become a lie, a total misrepresentation. It is the type of thinking that is draining the joy from life. Yes, an apple fritter at Starbuck’s will make you feel that depressed.